Dear Delilah June

My sweet Diddle Dumplin,

I can’t believe it’s been a whole year since you joined us. Your first trip around the sun. I know all parents say it, but this last year really has flown by.

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Your birth was absolutely perfect and everything I needed to heal from the emotionally difficult births of your sisters.  You were the baby that got to stay with me instead of being whisked off to the NICU to be hooked up to monitors and machines. You healed my heart in so many ways, and for that I am thankful.

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I remember in those first few weeks after you were born, I was in a really difficult place, emotionally. I remember being so sad, despite my joyful circumstances, and one of the only things that made me feel better was clutching you tightly to my chest as you slept.  It was hard to eat, but I did because you were relying on me.

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Slowly, I emerged from that fog. Although I was literally soaked in your spit up all day long (so. much. spit up), I finally found my joy again.

I’ve realized that I am a much different parent to you than I was to your sisters.  I’m sure it’s a natural thing that changes with each child no matter what your circumstances, but you are the one child that I am parenting after disability has changed our family. I’m a little more worried, I read a little more into things, and I’m sure the pediatrician braces himself for all of the questions and theories and detailed explanations from me when we go for appointments. Maybe one day you will find it annoying, but it’s a mama’s job to notice the details, connect the dots, and just plain ‘ole worry for no reason.

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You are proving that you like to do things in your own time, in your own way, and that’s ok.  You bring so much joy and charisma to the room just by being you. You have been the best planned surprise that we could ever ask for, and you complete our family so perfectly. We are so thankful for you, Delilah June.  It has been a wonderful year with you, and I am looking forward to all of the beautiful, amazing, fun years ahead.  We love you.

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Love,

Mama

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